So.

We recently received the following letter.

“Dear Imaignary Scenes,

My name is Rory. I am 6 foot two, with a big beard (so big that when I go to the mainland, people usually make remarks about it!) and I wear woolly jumpers. I like the feel of lambswool on my bare skin. In the winter, I wear thick corduroys and in the summer I wear corduroy shorts and boots. In fact, my boots are so big that when I go to the mainland, people usually make remarks about them!

Anyway, I live on an island north of Scotland in a house. I don’t get many visitors. I often sit up here all alone, with my woolly jumpers, big beard, corduroy trousers (in the winter) and shorts (in the summer). When I’m not staring at my impressive mantelpiece, I use the internet.

And Imaignary Scenes is my favourite site ever. I never know who the people are and I can’t understand any of the stories, but I just like looking at it.

But recently, I’ve had to spend a lot of time staring at my impressive mantelpiece, because you haven’t updated the site in weeks.

Why haven’t you been writing? Are you alright? Where are you? The site’s not finished, is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Where are you? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it?

Rory. ”

Well, thanks Rory, and to all the other readers who expressed concern about our whereabouts. In particular, Cheap Generic Viagra, Laser Surgery Review Eye and Naked Britney Spears, who quite frankly, bombarded us with concerned comments.

Well, we’ve always had two mottos at Imaignary Scenes.

‘You can never get enough snuff.’

and

‘When able to write, write.’

Thing is is, readers, we haven’t been able to write. We’ve been in spot of bother.

If you’d like to know why, we’ll tell you all about it in a couple of days.

‘The site’s not finished, is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Where are you? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it?’

See you on Wednesday…