Note that this is not a true story. It is made up.
The Imaginary Scenes Customer Care Centre has received a complaint from a Mrs Lollipop that viewing our site has given her spam. We’d like to reassure Mrs Lollipop that ALL our stock market tips have been thoroughly checked by the Imaginary Scenes brokers and it is quite safe to invest.
In the first part of this story, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson awoke after a night of uneasy dreams to find that she could see through her hands. The next instalment is below - or you can download both parts as a pdf here.
Note that if the events depicted here were true, which they aren’t, they didn’t happen in the last few days. Which explains Jade Goody’s cameo appearance even though (as any idiot will tell you) she is currently touring with McCall and Endemol’s Pandemonium Shadow Show.

